Kindness in the Workplace: A Strength, Not a Weakness

When I was rejected during my probationary period from a state department role, the feedback from my chief was that I was "too nice" and "too kind." These attributes, which I had always considered my strengths, were framed as weaknesses. It was a confusing and devastating moment. As a leader managing two teams of employees, I prided myself on creating an environment where kindness and empathy were central to my leadership style. Yet, in this particular toxic work environment, my approach was not only questioned but ridiculed.

The chief's words broke me down because they contradicted everything I knew to be true about effective leadership. My kindness had always been a tool to build trust, foster collaboration, and uplift the people I worked with. It took nearly two years to rebuild myself after the harassment and rejection I experienced. The scars were not visible, but the harm was real.

The Importance of Psychological Safety in the Workplace

This experience solidified my belief that psychological safety in the workplace is not optional—it is essential. The harm inflicted through ridicule, intimidation, or dismissiveness may not be as obvious as a physical injury, but its impact is just as significant. When an employee’s sense of safety is compromised, the ripple effects are profound, affecting their confidence, performance, relationships, and overall well-being.

Consider this analogy: What happens when the motherboard of a computer is damaged? The entire system fails. Similarly, when psychological harm is inflicted on an employee, every aspect of their life—both personal and professional—can be disrupted. The scars of psychological harm are deep and lasting.

Kindness as a Leadership Superpower

Kindness and empathy are not weaknesses. They are powerful leadership qualities that create strong, cohesive teams and foster trust and innovation. When employees feel supported and valued, they are more likely to thrive, take risks, and collaborate effectively. A leader who builds others up—not tears them down—has the ability to unlock the potential of their teams in ways that command-and-control leadership styles never will.

Unfortunately, in environments where "doing as you're told" is prioritized over open dialogue and critical thinking, kindness is often misunderstood or undervalued. Leaders who weaponize their authority to tear others down feed their own egos at the expense of their teams' mental health and well-being. These individuals—vultures disguised as leaders—must be held accountable for the psychological harm they cause.

Holding Leadership Accountable

Leadership is not about power; it’s about responsibility. True leaders understand that their words and actions have a profound impact on those they lead. Organizations must foster a culture where psychological safety is prioritized, and leaders are held accountable for their behavior. Harassment, intimidation, and ridicule are not leadership—they are abuse.

Creating an environment of psychological safety means encouraging open communication, valuing kindness and empathy, and ensuring that employees feel safe to be themselves without fear of retribution or ridicule. It also means acknowledging and addressing the harm caused by toxic leaders who prioritize their egos over their teams' well-being.

Moving Forward

It took time and effort, but I rebuilt myself after this experience. I continue to lead with kindness because I know it is my greatest strength, not a weakness. I share this story because I believe in the power of resilience and the importance of standing firm in your values, even when they are called into question.

To anyone who has experienced similar challenges: remember that your kindness and empathy are not liabilities—they are your superpowers. And to organizations and leaders everywhere: psychological safety in the workplace matters. Let’s build environments where kindness is celebrated, not criticized, and where every individual feels safe, valued, and empowered to contribute their best.